Sick

I am frustrated.

We are due to go on holidays for a week with Little Guy – Little Guy and I will both be skiing for the first time, ever.

I have been unwell since the weekend and it seems to be getting worse – headache, cold, sore back, low energy – usual symptoms of a cold. I am very happy to not have my tonsils – at least I don’t have to worry about them being inflamed and sore!

What makes this situation worse is that DH and I are meant to be competing in a marathon in 10 days – I have been unable to train. Feeling sorry for myself but my focus is to get to the start line feeling healthy. Can do anything about the lack of training effort. Grrrr.

 

a set back

It’s hard to be excited about my Aunty arriving from OS. She’s here for 3 months – arriving in time to fast the month of Ramadan with her family (and mine, I suppose).

Aunty Q is my father’s sister but she is also the mother of my PBILs.

I suppose her visit is an example of me being on the outer. I had no idea she was coming until the day of the event. Everyone else must have known for weeks – it takes that long the sort out paper work for visitors from the Middle East.

I am quite uncomfortable about it – I have been seeing my family every weekend and not once has this come up.

What’s the big deal, you say? 

Well, her arrival and stay means I will have to plan my visits even more carefully – I have no idea if she knows about my marriage. No one has told me what she knows, doesn’t know.

I am making the assumption that I will need to lay low for the next 3 months to avoid any confrontations. She will most likely be spending a lot of time at my mother’s place – which means I will not be able to see my mother on weekends if she is also there.

It feels like I’ve taken a few step backwards….

 

SK

 

 

Brazilian-Style Coconut Prawn Stew

Last Thursday night’s dinner was a success!

I found a recipe if a supermarket food magazine – was easy to make and tasted great.

http://recipes.coles.com.au/recipes/3815/brazilian-style-prawn-coconut-stew-moqueca/

I made this as DH’s only request on Thursday nights is I spend more time with him then I cooking in the kitchen.

How do I know it was a success? DH went for second 🙂

I didn’t make anything for desert 😦

I did bring home a block of KitKat chocolate which went down a treat.

#

SK

Can you see the horizon?

There have been some positive developments lately – I just wish I had the time to flesh them out on paper and log them here….

Nothing has changed regarding the PBILs – they still dont want their children talking to me. My mother still plays along with them and has allowed them to believe that she no longer sees or hears from me.

I can only visit when she is not expecting any guests, and I always park my car across the road from her home so people wont see my car there.

Apparently she still asks my sisters about DH – what he’s like, if he treats me well etc.

I have not seen my father since he met DH for the first and only time last year.

Big Bro says he’s supportive of my choice, but so far he’s fallen off the grid too…. no calls, messages – no interest. This means that i no longer really see much of his three children – with the exception of when I bump into them at my mum’s place…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ignored

It’s been awhile since I have posted Things with the family have a hit a much desired plateau. I think the part of the family that has cut me off think I am quite miserable about it, but the truth is, I am quite happy with my family obligations nose-diving and me just being able to enjoy other things without any guilt. I love being able to plan and do things with DH without feeling like I am missing out with time with my family, or guilty about not seeing my nieces and nephews or siblings, and i like not lying about my whereabouts and who I am with. Dh and Little Guy are my family now.

I am very grateful that I am able to still see some of my nieces and nephews and some of my siblings are still very active in my life. It is quite comforting being able to focus on just these few. Strangely, I am not so sad about not feeling so stretched any more. Having said that, this new normal takes a bit of getting used to. For example, a few weeks ago, I coincidently placed myself in the same place as Sis#4 and her children (they have been banned from seeing me).

Realising that i could hear them all, I asked Sis #2, who I was with at the time, to warn my other sister that I was present and thus avoid an uncomfortable situation for her children (of which, Little K, was a particular favourite of mine).  Miss M didn’t heed the warning and ran to me with a hug. Master A was indifferent about the whole scene, but I could hear Little K had stopped in his tracks behind me. His mother asked him if he wanted to say hello to me, he said ‘yes’. So he came up, gave me a hug, told me he missed me. At this point Lil Sis entered the scene and told me we should go before the kids got into trouble. So off we went. My feelings in these circumstance is just sadness that the kids are confused as they have not been told Why they cannot see my any more. Last weekend, Lil Sis and I bumped into Sis#4 and her tribe again. Once again, Miss M gave me a big hug, but this time, Little K stayed put and didn’t flinch. He successfully ignored me – which I completely understood. His father would be proud. So proud.

Another Saga: My Teeth

My Bloody Teeth – the next chapter!

You may all remember that late last year, DH sent me off to a dentist to address my dental pain.

You can read about here.

Before yesterday’s treatment, this was my dental status:

 

So, yesterday I went in to begin the process of getting a crown for the right lateral incisor (RLI), as was discussed with the doc before Christmas holidays.

The doc suggested I consider getting the left lateral incisor(LLI) crowned for the same reasons the left central incisor(LCI) got a porcelain veneer: cosmetic.  Here were my options:

1. do only non-cosmetic treatment – crown RLI only, new colour would match whiteness of front 2 teeth

2. do only non-cosmetic treatment – crown RLI only, new colour would match previous colour and thus have same smile

3. Crown the RLI and replace filling on LLI with whiter filling, and then undergo whitening treatment (not recommended due to difficulty of getting exact colour match)

4. Crown the RLI and LLI with means that the LLI could be improved with a straighter, whiter smile

5. Crown the RLI for now ONLY and make decision later

I wanted as few dental visits as possible, so I went with option 4. Truthfully, I’ve never really looked closely at my teeth, so I had no real idea how stained and crooked the lateral incisors were.  All this dental work would be hit to the purse pocket, but I didn’t see much way around it.

Maybe new teeth would make me want to smile more?

Two and half hours after walking in, I walked out of the dentist’s office with a temporary crown, a temporary veneer (which I have been warned is very likely to dislodge before my next appointment), and 4 episodes of Friends watched, a lighter wallet, a numb mouth, and an appointment for 3 weeks time to complete the process!

Lucky me.

SK
the muslim girl who married a christian boy

success is not about being rich?

I still pinch myself that DH and I are married. Married! How cool is that? I’m loving his energy and the sheer love and happiness he brings into my life.

Lately I have been feeling a bit blah. DH has won a promotion at work and he is, for the most part, loving his job. He has now joined the executive ranks. I look at him, his capabilities, and am convinced he will be CEO one day…

Where does this leave me? I don’t just want to be the wife of successful man. I don’t mean financially, as I am not exactly a low-income earner.

I talk about satisfaction. I don’t wake up excited about going to work, in fact, I resent it a little. I like the people at work, but the job itself is rather easy, somewhat boring, and thus does my head in a little.

I guess it helps that I have never defined myself by my degree or career. I’ve always felt that its the relationships I have (romantic, platonic, familial) that make me feel successful. I should stay focused on that. I am grateful that my relationship with DH is as strong and dynamic as ever, that my friendships go from strength to strength and that I still have some family who also value me. This makes me feel successful in life, and I suppose I need to hang on to those feelings as  watch DH fly.

I do need to feel successfully professionally to complete the picture – my current position doesn’t make me feel like I am. I need to change this, I need a new job, a career change, write a book or something. Do something that isn’t what I;m doing now.

So I’m flapping around a bit.

I need to accept that sometimes its ok to fly beneath someone else’s wings while yours are still growing.

A baby born to a methadone mother that didn’t have a chance

A baby born to a methadone mother that didn't have a chance.

Not Invited

So my baby brother, Lil Bro, is turning 18 soon. My mother is going all out and hiring a venue with a professional singer, fully catered, all welcome, except me.

My PBILs are attending, as well as there drongo extended families, which means I must stay away to avoid a scene blah blah blah.

Will do.

Sigh.

SK
the muslim girl who married a christian Boy.